Ok my turn to write about my Dear Ones. I had held off for ages on writing this post because I wasn’t really sure who I should write about. In the end I’ve decided to write about my best childhood friend who I have now lost touch with as she moved to Perth to study at Uni.

I first met Erika at gymnastics training, on the beam. I remember it clearly, she was a new girl and no one had said hello to her yet. I made sure I said hello to every new person so I went over and said hi. We hit it off together instantly

One incident I remember really well was when we were in the gymnasium waiting for our turn on the bars, usually Erika & I would talk, play clapping games, and laugh a lot! Well this day we found a star shape cut out of light brown leather just lying on the ground. As it didn’t seem to belong to anyone we claimed it and named it ’starry’ it was our cute little mascot we carried with us to gymnastics competitions and we used to keep it at our house for 1 week at a time, with swap over time on Thursdays after gymnastics training.

I guess the reason she was always my best friend was we had so much in common, in fact we were insanely similar. We really could have been twins personality wise and boy did we share similar type Dad’s as well

In the summer time I would go swimming training straight after my gymnastics training, and since I swum outdoors I would get a really brown tan.. and wearing gymnastics leotards which were a different cut from my bathers the tan lines were quite obvious. I remember Erika would get us to stand side-by-side and we would ask someone who had the darkest back. Every summer I won, and I never knew why she liked it when I was browner than her.

Erika

Whenever we went around to each other’s houses to play it was always ‘weddings’ (complete with wedding dresses, kissing the groom etc) with dolls acting everything out of course. Or we played ‘competitions’ anything and everything could be competed for, with Erika or my Mum’s having to decided the winner or loser. Erika & I always lost to our younger sisters Anissa & Celine that’s how it goes when you compete against younger sisters and your parents judge! I guess it was because the younger you are the more likely you are to cry at a loss

The things Erika & I had totally in common are as follows -

• First of all our Dad’s were both teachers at high school. enough said if you have ever had a teacher for a Dad! (very embarrassing in other words)
• We were both fairly small when we were younger, but by the time we were about 14yrs old Erika had shot past me, I can only guess at how tall she might be today!
• We never, ever answered the phone. I remember one day at Erika’s house the phone rang and we both ran into her room and locked the door! hehe!
• Add to never answering the phone, never actually ringing anyone on the phone either! all correspondence between us was with our little sisters doing the ‘dirty work’ of ringing the phone. We would both stand next to them and repeat what they were to say over the phone.
• Getting hot cakes we had cooked out of ovens was another no-no. We shrieked for Erika’s Dad or Clare when we were at my house.
• She would also make complete wedding outfits for her Barbie dolls, just as I did.
• We both wanted to be fashion designers or architects. from a very young age.
• We would organize Celine’s birthday parties together.
  And many, many more wonderful things I have forgotten with time.

One thing that I never realized till I was 18 years old was that Erika was Indian. I know that sounds really weird but it’s true. All I thought was that she had pretty brown skin. I never thought about how she had Aunties in Sarees at her house a lot, That she went on Holidays to Mumbai with her Family, That she showed me the pretty clothes she had from India, That we used to play with all her bangles, That her Mum & Dad had Indian accents. nothing she was just Erika to me. I do remember Anissa telling Celine never to go to India… Anissa apparently was way too shocked with the difference between Australia & India. I guess that is because she was only 8yrs old.

The last time I saw Erika was Celine’s 13th birthday party (2002). We tried to catch up in 2005 with each other but different schedules just didn’t allow for it Every so often I see her Mum & Dad at the Indian restaurant where I work and when I saw her Mum last year she told me that Erika chose to study Architecture! wow our childhood ambitions were both followed! the funny thing is she always loved fashion design a bit more as a career, and I Architecture

Anyway, sorry for the disjointed post. I just wrote as it came to me

Ever since Mary made this site, I have wanted to write a blog. But the problem has been that I don’t understand what to write about. Ideally I should write about Mary. But that I believe I would be able to write better when I have actually met her. Then I though, this blog was created with so much of love. So why not write about love. Love of a different kind. The love of friendship. So I decided to write about one person who means a lot to me – Sandy, my best friend.

The beginning :

So I think I should start from the very beginning. It was in the end of my 8^th Class (when I was around 14) that I first noticed Sandy. We hade been in same school (Guru Nanak Public School) but never happened to be in the same section. So anyways, it was on the last few papers of 8^th class that I actually noticed Sandy. After our exams, we kids used to play cricket in the ground. Since bats weren’t allowed in school, so our writing pads used to serve as bats and the balls used to either be aluminium foil balls or really light plastic balls. So there was this common friend of ours (Jaskaran – nicknamed ‘Changa’ because he had 6 fingers in his right hand, changa means exactly that). So he made us play cricket together. And I was the new member in the ‘Changa’ gang. I used to be a real shy guy during those days. So I quietly played, and observed others. I found that only Sandy was a player of any class……So this cricket carried on for a couple of days. But I never got a chance to get to know his name….

………Then came our holidays. And call it coincidence or destiny, it was cricket again which made me and
Sandy meet for the second time. My younger cousin had come to live at my place for the holidays. So one rainy day, after the drizzle had stopped, me and my cousin (Jaggi) went to the ground to play some tennis ball cricket. I didn’t expect anyone there on a rainy day, but someone was already there. An unknown figure on my ground. But not so unkown. It was Sandy with his cousin playing on the ground. So I watched them play for a little while. I saw him notice me, and with no expression on his face he continued playing. Basically I was too shy to ask if we could join to play with him (I coundnt recognize him from the distance). Finally getting bored by watching 2 guys play cricket, and the itch to play myself egging me, I gathered enough courage to ask Sandy “Hi, can we play with you”. I had expected him to start shouting at me and drive me away… to my surprise he reacted in a way which I still remember this day. The expression on his face are still etched in my memory. He reacted as if he was surprised by this question, a smile almost came to his face, and all he said was “yeah”, but his tone was saying “ofcourse, why not”. Its funny that I don’t remember anything else of that day, like who won and how I played………………………………………….. Later on I heard Sandy’s version of our first interaction. He was expecting me to come to him and start shouting at him and drive him off my ground. So he was surprised and relieved when I asked if we could join in. that perfectly explain his expression, which was a mystery to me till then.

Well that day we also came to know that we had been placed in the same section for the 9^th standard. And then there was no stopping our friendship. His house used to be like 750Mts from our school and mine about 1.5km. So he would walk and i would go on my bicycle. So sometimes, I used to drop him home on the way back. But no matter what, we started playing cricket together everyday at that ground. And that ground became ‘ours’ from ‘mine’. We were champions at that ground. I with my pull and flick shots, and my leg spin. And Sandy with his so very correct technique, his straight drives and his medium pace. We were the kings of that ground. The gang only played while we did. Sometime we used to play at the concrete floor of my backyard where a couple of my other friends (neighbors- Lali and Romsy) would also join in.

…and the friendship grows

So as time went by, our friendship grew. We started going to school together. Come back on my bike. Play cricket together. Went to tuitions together. Sat together in school. It seemed so normal then, but now when I look back, it seems extraordinary. The next year (10th), we were not in the same section, but we still did all the other things together. This year we started studying together at my place, and also played more at home. We were so alike. Both of us were really shy people. Reserved while amongst strangers and open to each other. Loved cricket, were bright in studies and good at cricket, didn’t talk at all to girls…he he. Had very similar moms and family. So the bonds of our friendship strengthened. But we never realized the depth of our friendship until it was time to depart….…

I think I first realised the depth of our friendship in the end of 10^th. We used to wear those big turbans at that time, (I used to be a proper sardar then) and I happened to be slightly better than him at tying turbans. So it was during our 10^th farewell party that we decided to go together. I came on time at his place, only to find him struggling with his turban. So I went inside, tried to tie the turban on his head a couple of times (which takes about 20 mins per try), but because the turban was brand new we could’nt tie it properly. So we went to my place, cause I had a similar coloured turban. And there I tied his turban. By the time we reached school, we realized we had missed all the shows and the farewell was at its end. But that day I realized how deep our friendship was. Because I was hardly disappointed to have missed my farewell. Infact I was happy that I was with my best buddy during that time.

Sandy & Harman

Time to Depart:

……then came the turning point in my life. I decided to shift Delhi. And we were separated. But this only happened to strengthen our friendship. I would pay Ludhiana frequent visits, and used to be in constant touch via emails and phone calls. I got exposure in delhi, and my attitude changed a lot. I became more self confident and outgoing, whereas Sandy, was still the shy guy, who still didn’t really believe in his abilities ( even though he was damn intelligent, and much more hard working and determined than me). We always knew that I was the more intelligent of the two and he the much more hardworking. But we never realize that we were amongst the best students of India. My teachers in Delhi, made me realize that I actually was brilliant enough to be amongst the best. That’s when I realized how good Sandy and Lucky were too. They were both potential IITians. (IITians are the students of IIT, India’s best engineering college). I tried to give them confidence, but we were too far away from each other. Probably they needed the same kind of support that I got from my teachers. However, Sandy did really really good in his 12th, and got into one of the best colleges of Punjab. And I got into one of the best colleges in India. Again, call it coincidence or destiny; we were both doing Mechanical engineering, from the two best colleges of India (in mechanical engineer), and in the 1980s these colleges were the best in Asia…..

Manu:

So from 1999, when I shifted to Delhi to 2005, when we finished engineering, we were so far yet so close to each other. Everytime we met, we adored each other that much more. Then around in 2002 came a special person. Mandeep Kaur or ‘Manu’. Infact I would like to mention here that Sandy’s official name is actually ‘Mandeep Singh Ajimal’. Another coincidence. So, in came ‘Manu’, the girl who was to become a very important person in his life. She used to come to Sandy’s house for tuitions for class 10^th (Sandy, his mom and his elder sister used to teach school-going students). And Sandy used to teach Manu. Now she happened to be the only girl of his age group that he used to talk to. He was a really shy guy and so didn’t talk at all with girls. I remember, Sandy telling me how uncomfortable he used to be early on when he used to teach Manu. He just used to finish off the studies and totally be expressionless and to the point. Manu, on the other hand was a total opposite to Sandy. She was outgoing, fast, very witty, modern, naughty and I have to add ‘reckless’. She lived life as there was no tomorrow. Totally not worried about anything at all. So slowly, she managed to change Sandy from a shy, ‘within his shell’ person, to a confident outgoing person. All this time I was in Delhi but I knew everything what was going in Sandy’s life (infact I was the only guy to know that). And Manu also knew a little about me. Sandy had started falling in love with her. And this I now realize was LOVE and not a crush as I initially thought. I once happened to meet her in 2002 or 2003 I guess. My first reaction of her was – “She’s beautiful, and smart. But too cunning and fast for Sandy”. I didn’t like her too much the first time we met. But I was glad that she was Sandy’s friend and was changing Sandy for the better.

….so Sandy was a secret admirer of hers for some years. But he could never manage to tell her how much crazy he was of her. She was initially going around with a guy, so that used to cause a lot of unrest in
Sandy’s mind and a lots of fights among them. I remember, once I came down to Ludhiana and help them solve their problems. I don’t know how much impact my words had on Manu, but they certainly did have an impact on Sandy. And these two started coming closer to each other. But during that interaction with Manu, I realized one thing. Behind that reckless, and careless and carefree body of hers, was a beautiful person. One who cared for her friend Sandy a lot. She was actually not as senseless girl as I initially thought she was…..

How did that happen????????

….so it carried on like this for some years. Sandy wouldn’t just tell her of his feelings. She broke up with her boyfriend, and their friendship grew. But he still didn’t ‘propose’ to her. Once a interesting incident happened. This incident, just displayed what a wonderful person Sandy actually was. And how much he loved not only Manu but also me. It happened in 2004. So I went to Ludhiana, to meet Sandy. He decided to give me and Manu a treat together. That was the third time I met Manu. I don’t know what happened during that conversation, but the next morning at 6am I got a call on my cell from Sandy. And what happened made me feel awful…… Manu kindda proposed to me. She said “I find you very attractive and want to meet you”  But that’s not the worst part. She was too shy to say all this by herself, so she made Sandy pass all these messages to me on the phone, right in front of her. All that was going in mind was ”Oh, shit, this is bad bad bad. What the hell would Sandy be going through??” and “oh man, what did I do to impress her this much. Whatever it was I wish I hadn’t done it”. So despite the fact that she was the first girl to propose to me, I was really sad. All I could say to Sandy is, “these things cant be discussed on phone, tell her I can and infact WANT to be her friend, but thats all I can be – friend”. Well on hearing this, she left, and couldn’t get the courage to meet or talk to me. She still hasn’t talked to me after that day even though I would have loved to be her friend. But after she left, I met Sandy. Then Sandy said something to me that made me respect him that much more. He said “Harman, if you are saying no to her, because of me. Then please say yes. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Please say yes to her”. That’s the first and the only time I replied to him with a firm “nooooooooo”……

Finally…………

…Finally the day I was waiting for, and Sandy was waiting for even more arrived. He finally told Manu about his feeling for her. And she also had the same feelings for him. I still don’t know the exact details of how he proposed, but would love to listen to that one day. Now they two are in love, and are to get married one day. He is in western India, working in a automobile company called Mahindra & Mahindra, and she is in Punjab studying. And I know I have a huge role to play in convincing his parents for their marriage ( I’m like his elder brother in his family). Just like he will have to play a big role in my marriage. I am so glad that they are together. Because even though initially I didn’t like Manu, now I happen to be a fan of hers…….

In my life there are just two legends that I have know personally. One is my Dad, and the other Mandeep Singh Ajimal. You are pretty much close to being the third legend dear..